The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
