Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
