I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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