we're blogging at a bar
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
