If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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