I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
