My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
