It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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