In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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