I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
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Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
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The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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