the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
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He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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