afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
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You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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