he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
