People in love make me want to vomit
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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