my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
