singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
