He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
