She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
