Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
