lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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