You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
