Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
