I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
