It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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