So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
