3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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