Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
