i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
