i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
