we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize