Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
