I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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