so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
