It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once