Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings