watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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