I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
