Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
