I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
