I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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