found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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