The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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