would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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