she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
