talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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