it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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