are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
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Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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