It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
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Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story