There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
