I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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