the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
