cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize