By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just want to make out with him forever
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
