Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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