Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
