So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
