I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
