I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
4 words: hood of his car
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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