this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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