wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
