week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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