Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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