Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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