ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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