Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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