Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
